freshrant.com — Billionaire real estate tycoon and Busey-Meatloaf Brat Pack member, Donald Trump arrived in the all-important primary state of New Hampshire to take credit for forcing one of "the blacks" occupying the White House into releasing his long form birth certificate.
Trump shocked a small gathering of reporters, birthers and those just hoping for a glimpse of Omarosa by releasing what he called "his own secret weapon," a long form Certificate of Dickishness".
Trump proudly said of the document, "By the time I was in third grade, my teachers and classmates already recognized me as a major tool. In my family, pricks were considered to be a good thing. My dad paid my teacher to draw up a document that proved I was a certifiable wanker. The school was only too happy to comply. I am really proud of myself and very honored for being able to show the world for who I really am."