Politico has named Washington, DC as the biggest loser in the government shutdown farce. As a long-time DC resident, I am tired of being tread upon. I think it's time to take concrete steps to seize our freedom. Therefore, I have drafted a Constitutional amendment (below) to secure our sovereignty. The amendment is designed to address some of the usual political obstacles to the DC statehood cause, like this is a federal city, blah, blah, blah.
Now some may consider abolishing the federal government as an overly dramatic step to take to accomplish this goal. But when you think about it, the federal government is becoming little more than a mechanism for plutocrats to bleed the middle class dry, further enrich the corporate elite and support the military-industrial complex. So maybe the answer isn't to Shut it Down! as the teabaggers shouted, but to wipe it out entirely. So here is my DC Statehood Amendment:
TWENTY-EIGHTH AMENDMENT TO THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION
Section 1. All powers delegated to the United States in the Constitution are hereby repealed and are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.
Section 2. All prohibitions on the powers of states in the Constitution are hereby repealed.
Section 3. The District of Columbia is no longer designated the Seat of the Government of the United States and henceforth will be a sovereign state known as New Columbia.
You may note that the first two sections of my amendment are modeled after the Tenth Amendment, the second favorite of America's right wing. The beauty of this is that by taking a position so authentically far left -- unheard of in modern American politics -- that we come back around the other side and are actually to the right of the right wingers. In a political environment in which Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman have thrived, this is bound to be a winning political strategy.